i don't know exactly why i want this baby out now. part of it is i just want to spend every moment with my mom when she gets here (and if the baby doesn't come today, that's not going to happen), which is selfish of me, and i really need to get over it...i need to be here when she arrives so i can take her through the kitchen and teach her how to use the stove and microwave. that is, if the baby doesn't come today. and sasha was two weeks early. that made me expect this one early, too. i know that if this baby comes early then that might mean a 'visit' from my in-laws, and i don't want that to happen. what to do, what to do?!

mom is scheduled to arrive on monday evening. if the baby is born today, i will go home on tuesday. but yoshi is working this weekend--overnight. i'm afraid that if i have this baby before the weekend, my in-laws (or worse, my MIL) will be 'invited' over to take care of hiro and sasha. and i will be in the clinic and unable to prevent it. even if i don't go into labor before the weekend, i'm afraid they'll be 'invited' over just in case i do over the weekend. i mean, someone will have to take me to the clinic and watch the kids.

'please baby, if you're coming, do it today or tomorrow, or wait for monday! please!'

oh sure, there's the extreme uncomfortable-ness of late pregnancy (38w4d, thank you very much), the contractions, the pressure, the squirming baby, the heartburn, constipation, even some nausea. i just want to get it over with. and i'm looking forward to breastfeeding (though i know i'll probably get tired of it by six months). i just want to sit down and cry. enough already, let's get it on! but...i need patience. i need to enjoy this time. sasha is growing more confident with her walking. hiro actually goes to the toilet before production (though that doesn't always mean he actually goes in the toilet, poor guy). the weather has drastically changed (and is pleasant, for however long that will last. i hate autumn. tease.)

oh, and completely unrelated: yesterday i made split-pea soup in the slow cooker, but didn't add enough water. it was delicious, but paste. we liked it, but it's weird to eat soup paste....