we had a lovely holiday during the golden week, but i didn't take many pictures. it's a long drive with three small children. i always enjoy visiting with friends and making new friends, but i wouldn't exactly call it a vacation. we cook a lot, we clean a lot and someone is always chasing after children (though i think all of us mothers admit we get the husbands and/or older children to do most of the baby-minding. rachel and victoria's older ones did an excellent job this year!)
i did lose my patience with sasha a couple of times, which prompted another mother to tell me to try to be kinder to her. *sigh* i guess she also made some kind of comment to my brother about how mothers are harder on their daughters and have soft spots for their sons. hm. well, sasha needs me constantly for whatever reason (actually, there are probably several reasons) and is my little shadow. i cannot escape her. ever. well, maybe for a few minutes or so but if i am around, sasha will find me. over the holiday at victoria's, hiro was with the older boys and tommy was quite happy to spend his time with yoshi so i really had no reason to get fed-up with either of them. i don't favor my boys, i really don't think i do. i just don't have the personality to always be needed. i don't want to be impatient with sasha, but i never get the chance to recharge. *sigh* poor sasha. rest assured she gets plenty of hugs and kisses and books read to her and play time with mommy and daddy. i just kinda wish i could be out of her sight for more than two minutes. (of course, i do get my 'free time', often on weekends, when i leave her with yoshi, but i have to physically leave the house. if i go upstairs to lie on the bed or read a book, or even just try to go to the bathroom, sasha will find me....)
anyway, this year the weather did not cooperate and it was pretty cold and wet this year. kind of a bummer but hardly a disaster as victoria has loads of room and plenty of things to do. i had wished to go to the gorge this year since my brother was with us, but as it was we did go to the onsen, i actually took the kids for a drive and did a little sight-seeing with them and as usual we had plenty of good food to eat, yummy drinks to consume and lively conversation--and a saxophone serenade! yoga in the morning, visitors at all hours (including a cat with a moustache!) and even videos in the main hall for entertainment. another awesome golden week holiday in miyazaki.
very sorry but no photos this year. :(
November 16, 2024
12 hours ago
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8 comments:
Wow. You seem to have handled that well. Unsolicited advice from others regarding how I deal with my children usually results in said person getting told to go do something vulgar to themselves.
There are many times when I think I am harder on my daughter than I am on my son... perhaps it is because she is older, or perhaps it is because she is a girl, more likely it is just because she is not as considerate as her brother! Whatever the reason, comments from others are never welcome!
My son used to be a real "clinger" and I spent nights during our short visits in New Zealand crying from the stress of it. I literally couldn't go to the toilet without him. He is still like it in many ways, but far more independent now. Sasha will get there eventually!
Keep smiling... hope to join you in Miyazaki some year!
it is difficult to take advice from others, but the person in question is really very nice, and an experienced parent :) so i know that her heart is in the right place. i'm not angry with her and i am somewhat embarrassed by my own behavior (i mean, sasha *is* only two) but i also think it shows that she cares (even if we're mainly internet friends) that she said something to me.
i have so much more patience now than i did when i was in my twenties, but i need to find more, deepen my pool of calmness and let more of the little things go (where sasha is concerned, anyway) and i am working on it, truly i am.
Hi, I can vouch for Little Ms. Shadow! One bright side I noticed was that you didn't have to worry about her getting lost, like Erica - just turn around and voila! there she is. Quite an amazing performance. I can vouch for Jo's son sticking like glue to her knee while on visits here too! He got over it, so will Sasha. After a while, one simply doesn't fit on one's mother's knee anymore (though they do try!).
ps, can't see these comments! cute...mystery comments...I figured out highlighting it helps.
I find that because I am a non-supported SAHM with more than one young child (except on weekends)that when I am around friends I tend to be relaxed with my attention to the children. (I think we talked about this last time I was out in Fukuoka)I am impressed with other moms who can give their kids alot of attention but I realize that spending all day with them our relationship is different. Like Jo, when I have gone back to my home country and still have no break it has caused a lot of stress- as all day I tend to the boys needs and would have luved a break from it. I appreciate how much Masa does at those times. Thus, I think you and I are similar- we need our space and going on vacation with others or visiting others can often lead to not feeling well rested even though it was a lovely time. Actually- when I think of circumstances regarding childcare I often say to Masa that YOU (as in illehee) is the only person I know who could understand. So, you took the advice positively which is awesome and I think you are a great Mom, I know you love the 3 kids but I just hope others can understand that you do spend pretty much 24 hours with very young children. Both yours and my exprience is quite extreme- actually I remember having a friend in Akita who was similar to our case and at the time only having an infant Tomoya. I was judgemental of her and couldn't understand how she could be so relaxed about her kids beating on each other and how I saw her one child get in a very dangerous situation because she wasn't watching, how she would jump over backwards if someone would take the children off her hands for 2 minutes. SO I think the lower energy parenting and letting so many things slide is survival. Getting irritated because for once you want to enjoy the company of adults is understandable. This is why we do so many outdoor things together just as a family. We have no one there to judge us- we find spots as safe as possible, we don't need to pack much, just sit back and actually have conversation together. It is relatively quiet or filled with laughter between the wee ones as they are absorbed in the environment and they are comfortable with each others company. Gosh, I should just pick up the phone and talk about this subject because it is interesting and I think we could easily spot the commonalitities in Mama's raising multiple children under 5 with 0 support aside from hubby. This is why I love meeting up with you. It is very comfortable and understanding!
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