each morning it's a fight: hiro doesn't want to go to school. i don't know why, and he can't tell me. he just says he doesn't want to go, he doesn't like it, but he has no specific reasons (you know, like the teacher hits him--unlikely, but i can't understand why he doesn't want to go.) the only thing i can think of is he doesn't want to go because he likes spending time with us. maybe he thinks we party all day long while he's at school? (we wish. especially me.) i think it's just that he loves his mommy so much! i mean, i loved my mommy sooooo much when i was four, too! this morning i couldn't get him out the door, and the bus actually came to our house. *sigh* i find this embarrassing, we're supposed to go to the other house because that's the fixed bus stop. i did tell the teacher he didn't want to go, and i eventually had to carry him out of the house (over my shoulder, to make it fun...) i hope he wants to go to school soon. it's really hard for me to force him to go to school. *sigh*
i don't know how to fix this. i think he needs to go to school, and as long as he's not ill, he needs to go to school. i'm sure he understands a lot, but i think he's also very shy. i'm not angry or frustrated, but i do feel sad about making him go to school....
doesn't want to go to school
Thursday, September 3, 2009
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14 comments:
aww that must be so hard. Does he have fun once he is there?
poor Hiro. I thought Shou might be a bit 'not going' after more than a week at home but he was soooooo past the home thing by about two days ago that I think being back was a relief. Hope Hiro finds his kindy groove soon.
It's not for everyone but bribary worked for me. Meg was sure Amy and I spent the whole day blowing bubbles in our underpants and drawing with markers and whatever else so I used to talk up what we would do on the way home from kinder- stop at a park, go feed the ducks, get an ice-cream, whatever.
Have you spoken to the class teacher? She really helped us, too- reassured me nothing was going on and Meg was actually happily doing the kinder day and reassured Meg that I would come and get her afterwards.
Hope Hiro gets more into it soon!
i think he does have fun once he gets to school. it's hard for me to tell, though, because he gets all shy and clingy if i ever show up there.
i've tried bribing and told him if he went to school every day this week then we would have ice cream. *sigh* he goes to and comes home on a kindy bus, so it's hard to promise the park on the way home. ;) and how fun it would be to feed the ducks! munakata is kind of a boring city, or maybe i just don't know it well enough yet! hmmm, maybe we can feed the koi at munakata taisha....
It sounds like Hiro is testing his boundaries (How much control do I have in this family). Bribery is fine but the most important thing would be not to give in (unless there really is something going on at school ie. fight with a friend). If you give in even once then it'll take even longer to get him back on track.
My girlies did this to me and I was nice but firm that although I felt bad for them, right now they had to go to school. End of story. Depending on how stubborn Hiro is this phase shouldn't last too long.
Good luck!
Hiro said on Sunday he doesn't want to go back to school. I said, 'Do you want to play with Sasha all day' and he said 'NO! I wanna play with Mommy all day!'. Then Yoshi said, 'But Mommy needs a break' but Hiro said 'No, Mommy can't have a break!'.
I thought it was so cute, but it must be driving you mad! I think he does think you're having fun all day. Maybe you could drive him for a few weeks, stay until he's having fun? Not let Sasha play on 'his' playground so he feels like he's getting all the fun stuff? I don't know...it's the opposite here, Erica spends ALL DAY searching for and asking after Amy and Lena. I wish they were back from school!
i hope it means i'm doing something right because hiro wants to play with mommy, and sasha is my little shadow....
right now i think the school is practicing for the undokai. this morning hiro insisted that he didn't want to run. hoo boy, i can just see it coming...(he didn't dance at the dance recital, didn't dance, but did drum a little, at the music festival. i'm almost afraid what the undokai is going to be like!)
Ohh that must be tough, for you and him. I honestly have no idea the best way to go about it, but I guess just be patient and supportive which you're already doing anyway. Hopefully the teacher will keep an eye on him and let you know how he's going. Good luck, hope he starts wanting to go soon!
It took my daughter ages and ages to get used to school - and she was six! I think that they miss us, and also keep wondering what we are doing at home without them.
In your case, I think a lot of this is age-related... it's a phase that will go over. As you say, you have to be consistent and he needs to go to school. Once he learns that you will always be there for him when school is over, it will become easier.
I really think it's just the seperation from mom, once he's at school, I'd bet anything that he's just fine!
Ethan has been in daycare / preschool since he was 6 weeks old, so leaving me everyday is all he's ever known, but on the days I drive him to school, instead of going on the bus, he cries and clings and says he hates school :( But if his dad drives him, or he takes the bus, he skips off happily w/ his sensei w/out even a backwards glance!
Whatever you do, don't give in, it'll only get harder. And keep telling yourself that going to school is the absolute best thing you can do for Hiro, even if it doesn't feel like it right now (and go ahead and cry if you feel like it, somedays it just breaks my heart to force E to go and I feel like such a horrible mommy, I just sit in the car and have myself a little boo-hoo)
Oh that would be hard.
My brother hated going to preschool and mum used to have to carry him in kicking and screaming where as I wanted to go to school as fast as possible. Maybe boys are a lot more clingy with their mums?
I have no advice really- my brother grew out of it though. I know that mum said she spoke to his teachers about it and they helped reassure her.
We found that in front of parents (I am talking as a teacher here) the kids would act all "I don`t want to go" and then as soon as their parents left they would be off playing and having fun and were fine. So maybe it is partly that he is testing his boundaries to see if he will be allowed to stay home...
I second speaking to his teacher (without him there) to find out if anything is going on at school that you should be concerned about.
Hope he finds his "kindy groove" soon as GW said!
Oh well maybe he doesn't want to go because he's hating the undokai practice. I sympathise. I would too. And teachers here get SOOO gung-ho about the undokai...
Still, you can't just let him stop going cos he's doesn't like something. That doesn't bode well for the future.
This is the kind of decision that makes newborns look so easy! I always assumed I wouldn't force/pressure my kids to do something they hated, but then when you get there the decision is not so simple. How far do you push? And when do you take a step back, hold him in your arms and reassure him Mommy's on his side? Or is it more important for him to learn that he sometimes has to do things he doesn't like so much, or work harder than he wants to to achieve something. Sigh. Just wish they never grew older than, oh, about 6 months...
Oh god, that sounds tough. No advice on how to deal with this as my two so far (touch wood) haven't thrown a hissy fit at daycare yet. They literally run in and make a dive for the toys they like, but that said they can't get out fast enough either when I come to pick them up!
Hope Hiro settles at kindy soon.
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