i just wrote a comment on someone else's blog, and i got angry at my MIL all over again. you see, i was planning on writing something simple, a little explanation as to why i wasn't going to rant about her, but...well, *sigh* she gave hiro beer. twice. while i was here. i am so angry about that. still.

you see, while i was in the clinic with the baby, yoshi took care of hiro. which was fine on friday, saturday and sunday, but yoshi had to go back to work on monday. and i was in the clinic until tuesday. i had expected to have hiro join me. and i felt rested after a few days "alone" and felt i could handle it. but yoshi asked his mother to stay with him (or she offered, i'm not sure). and i didn't want to be heavy handed, or come across as a bitch and hey, her own two sons survived to adulthood so my baby would be ok for two days (and yoshi would be there at night...) but on wednesday, my first whole day back home, his mom cracked open a beer at lunchtime. and hiro 'begged' for a sip. so she let him taste it! he didn't like it and didn't want to drink more, but i must admit i was pretty fucking shocked. and then, when she opened a second beer later that day, hiro once again wanted a sip (not that it was beer, but that an adult opened a can of drink) and she, once again, let him taste. i then told her that wasn't ok. (ugh. my japanese sucks. plus, i just can't let her have it. i know, i'm weak. but she's yoshi's mother...) it didn't happen again...unless she gave him beer the next day when i was in the toilet. once again, at lunch, she opened a beer. i was in the toilet and i heard her say, 'hai, dozo.' (here you go) and then, 'mo ikkai, dozo.' (one more (taste)). but since i didn't see it i really couldn't accuse...also, when i was first home, hiro took a beer can out of the recycle box (which was FILLED with beer cans) and 'drank' from it. i was shocked, and then angry after his grandmother let him taste her beer.

and that's it for me. i cannot trust her. AND SHE WAS ALONE WITH HIM FOR TWO DAYS. that makes me so sad and angry. ugh.

the only other things i can say are this: on wednesday she made dinner (remember, this is six days after i gave birth). in the afternoon i started having a headache, a real migraine, head pounding monster of a headache. i waited and waited for yoshi to come home. when he did his mom started serving dinner. i just couldn't stand it any more and went to lie down (not go to bed, just lie down and rest.) it hurt her feelings and she started to cry. so I was the bad guy, a terrible woman, because i didn't share a meal with her. one that she had cooked. that was the only dinner she made (she often made breakfast for yoshi and herself, things that she also put in his bento. he must have loved having his mom here in the morning...)

the other thing...on thursday or friday i couldn't find my wallet (i foolishly left it in the car. idiot.) i looked for it, in the car and in the house, but with no luck. now, i didn't want to ask my MIL about it, because she tends to worry about stuff. but, i really needed my wallet and i thought if she had seen it lying around, she could help me out. so, calmly and in a nice (so i thought) voice, i asked her if she had seen it, if she knew where it was. she didn't (because it was in the car) and so i kept looking. a few minutes later i found it (hiding in the car!) and told her it was ok, i found it. on sunday, after she left, i found out from yoshi that his mother felt that i was accusing her of taking (stealing) my wallet when i asked her about it. WTF?? i was so shocked, just floored when i heard that. especially when i had taken pains to ask her so nicely.

i guess i could just conclude that i cannot win, that with this woman that whatever i do will be the wrong thing. and you know, i think i can live with that. and she will never babysit my children. never ever.