the other day the composition bar wasn't working on blogger (at least not for me, not at the time). yesterday it finally came back, and that's where i posted the video for tommy, though i should have put it in the previous post. i have fixed it now, but i'm afraid a comment about the video is now on the post for sasha. that is because of me, and not the lovely person who made the comment.

and now to yoshi is spending the whole day studying. first he has a lecture, and then he is going off to study for some test. *sigh* great. i have the kids all day during the week, and now on the weekend. yesterday he wanted to take the kids to meet his coworker, and i could have time to myself. at the last minute, though, he made me take tommy and so i didn't have any time out of the house. it's true that tommy sleeps a lot, but only in the car or his crib. if i go somewhere i cannot leave him in the car (i wasn't planning on going anywhere that had covered parking.) i went to the post office to mail some books, then i had to go home and i was not happy about it. i got some knitting done, but basically i resented that i couldn't go out and i had to wait for yoshi to get home.

then, when they did get home, hiro and sasha needed to go down for a nap. THEN, yoshi fell asleep. last weekend i went out with tommy. yoshi fell asleep and our neighbor found sasha outside in the street! so, yoshi falls asleep and i have to stay home. i am not in a good place right now, i resent that i cannot do anything on my own, i cannot just go and do something. too often i feel like i'm asking permission while yoshi just tells me he's doing something (like studying today). i am not ready to go back to work, i DO want to spend time with my children, but i am the one who suffers for everyone else. ugh.

ok, enough. i suppose this will end too soon and after the kids are bigger i will miss this stage. i hope i remember how hard it is on me now.