sorry, i'm not very good at blogging any more. facebook takes up a lot of my time these days, though i don't post a lot over there, either. i'm afraid of sharing too much any more. afraid that things will just spill out and people won't see me as having it together. good life, happy family. what a laugh.

i've been really stressed about finances lately. nothing i can really write about, you know? wouldn't be prudent. things are fine, but things could be better. so, here i am at the end of the month, hoping to earn enough next month to keep september going....

the kids are driving me crazy. i've already sworn that i won't take them anywhere this summer, and we haven't even finished the second week of summer vacation. it's just as well, though, since i don't have a lot of extra money this year.

i don't know if i'll post much more, but i do hope i can. i cannot share any photos, this computer has very little memory. i tried to get a memory stick, or flash drive, or, whatever, but as you can probably guess (since i don't even know what i'm trying to talk about) that didn't work out. i think i can blog from my iphone, and might be able to share pictures from there from time to time, but it's a real PITA to type on the phone.

i can't tell if rainy season is over yet. we've had a pretty cloudy, but not very rainy, tsuyu. the past couple of weeks have had more rain than the previous how many ever there were....i think rainy season was officially declared for kyushu on june 2nd this year. still waiting for it to end....there are/were a few typhoons south of us making the weather very interesting here for us for the past few days. but, i'm ready for a sunny summer!

it's true: facebook steals your blogging mojo. but i can't believe it's been almost two years since i last wrote a post. that's pretty pathetic! it seems difficult to start again. and i still have the same problems with computer memory, so i cannot share pictures!

i have some new jobs, and that's nice, but that means less free time. the kids are all in elementary school now. can you imagine? where is the time going? soon it will be summer vacation and i will have to figure out how to keep them all entertained, and on their homework, while sticking to some kind of budget.

the kids and i went to the states last winter, which was fun. but i'm not sure when we'll have the time or money to go again!

now i have to go pick up my husband from the train station. i will try to write more soon.

i know! i owe you a blog post. but. it turns out i'm really busy! and, i haven't uploaded all my photos from summer onto flickr. i'm about to go out of town for work, and then i have an AFWJ weekend coming up, but after that! i should be able to do the big catch up. argh! when did life get so hectic??

i have the blogger app for my iphone. i just might try it out this week. just wait! (i'll be going out near mt. fuji. i'll be busy, but if i get a chance, i'll try to write!)

hey! remember me? i've been meaning to write for ages, but i've been so busy. i can't believe it's already been more than five months since i last wrote. naughty naughty blogger (illahee). i will have to write some catch up posts to tell you all about our summer. blame facebook. it's so much easier to update there, let me tell you....

ok ok, i am getting tired of the christmas post, too! sorry, it's been a crazy few weeks. so much to do these days!

sasha has 'graduated' from kindergarten. so unreal! soon i will have two kids in elementary school. it's kind of a relief, really. we are nearly ready. i want to make her some bags, for her sports clothes, library books, mask and maybe a bento bag if i have enough material left over. i also need to get her name on her sports clothes, but everything else is pretty much ready. hm, that reminds me, though, that i need to find her pencil box and get her pencils and erasers ready.

i had an easter party for my students here at the house. it was QUITE an adventure. i certainly learned a lot, what NOT to do next time (if there is a next time!) classes are going well, otherwise, and i have a couple of new students starting in april.

sorry that i don't have any new photos for ya. i can't find the nikon, i guess i better ask yoshi where it is.

well!  a whole month and nothing done!  more than a month, really, sorry about that.  i've been so busy.  i didn't really have access to a computer when i was in the US, and blogging from my phone is NO FUN.  i'm not sure that many people read my blog any more (pauses seem to lose a blogger readers for some reason!!  LOL) but i want to try to post more often.  maybe go for a 365?  lol  maybe if i do it month by month...

i haven't even looked at my cameras since i got home.  i didn't take a lot of pictures, that's one reason why.  another is that i have been so busy!  we got home late on a monday night, then hiro had to go to school, i had to teach, and then the rest of the week sasha and tommy had half days!  i've been trying to cross stitch, finish up a crochet afghan and unpack my bags (still haven't emptied all but one of them.  bad housewife, bad.)  i guess things are starting to slow down, but will pick up again soon as it's nearing the end of the school year, and sasha will be starting first grade in april!  yikes!

so, as soon as i've sorted out the pictures i should have something new posted here.  i hope there are still some readers around here!

so, i have been trying to catch up, but i haven't even made it to november yet. perhaps i should try to do 365 in 2013!! i never even wrote about it here, but the kids and i are going to the US for christmas! we leave in 2 days, and i have so much to do!! so, november was pretty quiet, and december has been a rush so far. soon i will have to travel a long, long way with three kids to see my parents and my cat. wish me luck, i need to get a lot done before monday afternoon!

i know it might seem like it, but really i haven't!  i've been meaning to write, but keep putting it off.  it doesn't help that i haven't uploaded pictures in ages (i still have pictures/video from kijima kogen that i haven't downloaded from the camera!)  i have a lot to write about, lots to catch up on, and i will get to it!  but today is a busy day and tomorrow is a holiday, so i'm not sure when i'll get anything up.  but i will try to get something on here soon.

i know i haven't written in a while. there really isn't a lot going on. school is going well, i guess. hiro doesn't want to walk to school, and was actually very late the other day. it took him nearly an hour to walk to school, the teacher even called me because he wasn't at school yet! just one of those things i guess. soon enough, sasha will be walking with him!

my teaching is going well, too, with the usual ups and downs of teaching children. a couple of students didn't pay on time for may, but it's all caught up, now. hopefully that won't be a recurring thing! i even had someone call today to ask about joining a class. fingers crossed i'll have another student!

i was really tired and down during may. i claimed to have "go-gatsu byou", which means "may sickness", which really means that april is the busiest month (beginning of the year for many things), then you have golden week where you play hard and then WHAM! you slam into may and you feel like shit. well, that's how i felt over the past month. hopefully i am over it and will have more energy and motivation!

 kids are fine, husband is fine, animals are fine. rainy season seems to be on the way in, but we'll see!

so it's late, and i wasn't going to write a post today, but following links and stuff brought me to a really great blog that caught my attention, and i wanted to share it with you. it's called alishan on the move, and i found it on the japan blog list, which jo blogged about tonight!. i hope you enjoy it!

you know, it's funny.  i started this blog more than 8 years ago, and i've never had a troll.  never had a drive-by comment, never had a hate-filled rant in the comments section.  i've always chalked that up to not having a very interesting blog, not many random readers and well, the gall-durned best readers and commentors a blogger could wish for.

that changed yesterday.

my feeling has always been, don't feed the trolls.  i've also been someone to stand by my words, and am very upset if i am censored or deleted, so my policy has been to never delete comments.  it's never been an issue until now.  i wouldn't be creating a blog post about it right now (you know, because crazy sick people get off on this kind of attention) except i'm afraid of losing friends, of no longer having special people who mean more to me than they can probably imagine.  but i need to say these things.

i won't be deleting the trolls comments.  and i will fully own being hypocritical because one of the comments was deleted by me, but it was truly awful, very sick and messed up.  and didn't have a lot to do with the issue already brought up by the sick person, just a disconnected rant by a crazy person.  but the others will stay.

when i posted the photo in that blog post, i first asked permission of those included in the picture.  and when i first received notice of the hateful comment, i went back to these women and asked them if any one of them wanted me to take it down.  i was not personally offended, i know who and what i am, but if anyone felt uncomfortable, i would take it down.  as it was a sunday, and a holiday, there wasn't a lot of response, but the response that was there was to keep it up.  then more hate was spewed, and it was suggested that i either take the photo or the comments down.  i elected to take down the photo.  this is my blog, it is my space and i wanted to address the hate and nonsense spewed by one sad individual.  i don't want to sweep this under the rug and pretend it didn't happen.  that is why the comments stay.

i put comment moderation on yesterday because i was going to be gone all afternoon and not get home until late, and didn't need my blog exploding while i was having fun.  i will probably keep moderation on for a little while longer, and i apologize for that.  i will try to get to any comments as soon as i can.  (FWIW, i haven't had a lot of comments lately, and i know that's mostly because of my lack of blogging and/or interesting posts, but also maybe because of blogger and wordpress not getting along well.)  truly nasty and personal comments that have nothing to do with the post on hand will not be published.  that's my right.  i hope you can all understand.

i had a lovely time in kanto.  first, i got to meet the next AFWJ membership secretary, whom i had never met  before, and we had lunch with an older member who lives in a beautiful old house in zushi.  after lunch M and i were driven to her house by C, and then the two of us got working, training her on how to be the next MemSec.  it took more than four hours, with a very short break, and i still forgot to tell her a couple of things!  no worries, and i am still on the board, and still very very available to answer questions, and i have complete confidence that she will be an awesome MemSec.

after we finished up, M and her son walked me to the station so i could meet up with some bloggy friends.  she also, very kindly, printed me some train schedules to help me on my way.  there are so many train lines in kanto!  (DUH)  rather confusing, and i find that i have to face the fact that i am a country mouse.  *sigh*  anyway, i made my way to bryn's for a bloggy-friends-in-japan get-together.

i got there rather late, it was almost ten when i walked in the door!  i had a slice of apple pie, which i bought just before meeting up with M, and then it was on to the drinks!  i also made it a point to have my picture taken with everyone, but i think the best photo was the group photo taken before some members of the group had to go home.

[photo removed by request of one of those included.  i have no problem with whatever anyone thinks of me or my appearance, this is my blog.  but that's what it is, my blog, not any of the other wonderful and beautiful women in the picture.  sorry that i can no longer show this image of love and beauty to you, my dear readers.]


yes, that's me, big and pink in the front.  *sigh*  that's what i get for leaning back, trying to fit in the picture!  didn't realize i was already in it.  oh well, motivation for fummy tummy!

so, who is here?  (in no particular order, and sorry no linking unless requested, i'm still worn out from my weekend!) nooh, shinshu life, lily, bryn, lulu, alex, cecelia, gaijin wife, chrysanthemum mum and brenda (brenda, do you have a blog??  you do, why can i not remember it??  cue fifteen helpful people reminding me in the comments....)  anyway, i had never met 6 of these wonderful women before, so i was so happy to finally meet them!  and meet up with my good friends whom i have met on several occasions.  hopefully we'll meet up again soon!

after i made an effort to catch up, ladies disappeared to bed (or comforting kidlets) until only two of us were left, and it was definitely time for me to go to bed!  sunday morning was a slow, lazy day (of which i am extremely grateful to bryn!) and after everyone else had left (my flight was for 8 pm, so i had time to hang at bryn's house, which i didn't get to do on saturday) we had a lazy day in front of the tv (the weather wasn't so nice on sunday, sadly, otherwise i may have made more of an effort to do sight-seeing!)  eventually, though, it was time for me to go.  bryn helped me figure out a route back to the airport, but sadly i got on a wrong train along the way!  luckily, it was going in the right direction *phew!* so i did manage to get to the airport in time to catch my plane!

all in all, a fun and productive weekend.  and now i no longer have the responsibility of MemSec, but am now the secretary!  wish me luck in my new venture!

sorry to all my wordpress blogging friends. wordpress will no longer let me comment under my gmail email because i have a registered account with wordpress with that email. so, that means i HAVE to sign in with that account in order to use that email to make a comment on a wordpress blog. make sense? what that means is that i cannot use that email address which is also used for my gravatar (puts my specialized icon out there) and my blogger home address.  i don't want to have a link to any of my wordpress blogs out there, or even my wordpress ID, nor do i wish to make a new gravatar with a new email address.  when did this change?  why does everything have to be so fucking connected now??  NOT COOL, WORDPRESS.  or any social media that connects to EVERYTHING else whether you want it to or not!!

SO.  i probably won't be commenting much on wordpress blogs.  sorry about that.  :(

the new blogger layout is very wordpress-like.  i don't know if many of these things are new, or if they're just out there and easier to find, but i do like the statistics things and comment options.  not the best ever, since it's similar to wordpress and i don't like blogging there.  but i still like it over wordpress, so will probably be blogging here for a while longer.

this is not meant to put anyone down for using wordpress or another blogging platform.  i am happy with blogger (still) so will be staying here.  am just pissed that wordpress won't let me use the email i want to use for making comments on wordpress blogs.  phooey to them!!

sorry about that. not much to say, i guess. we had an undokai, only one more to go. it was actually quite interesting, and with only 100 students in the entire school, everything seemed to go by quickly. in fact, the morning session ended 30 minutes earlier than scheduled! i think hiro had a great time, and he actually participated cheerfully (at yochien, though he improved by his third year, he seemed so shy all the time and hardly did anything--especially singing.) it was really great. the weather cooperated as well, it was sunny, but not humid and overly-hot, though we did need some shade. i asked yoshi to bring one of our beach umbrellas, so he got the one we haven't actually used yet. it was tied up and needed to be cut free, but we didn't have scissors. yoshi finally got the ties off, though, and we tried to set up the umbrella. the pole has a kind of screw on it and you're supposed to 'screw' it into the ground, but there were too many rocks, or there was a slab of concrete 4 inches down, because we could not get that thing to set up! the family next to us tried to help out (starting with the ever-helpful, 'are you turning it the right way?' uh, yeah, i know how to turn a screw. and after a few minutes, of course i tried turning it the other way. i'm not an idiot. although, when grandpa came over to try his hand, the first thing grandma said was, 'are you turning it the right way?' so obviously, we're all idiots eventually grandpa found some metal stakes and with a few large rocks yoshi found, we got the umbrella set up. phew!

after the undokai, hiro had two days off. on the first day, we went to costco and then enjoyed an hour at an onsen. on the second day, i took him to the city pool and we had fun splashing around. it was nice having one-on-one time with hiro.

i guess i had a birthday since the last time i posted. yay, one year older! i made my favorite cake, that was great! and i got lots of birthday wishes, especially on facebook, which was really nice. i didn't go to HRC, but might go in november with kuri, as a kind of halfway between our birthdays.

other than that, nothing more to write about. perhaps i'll have some pictures soon!

so, i didn't blog at all last week. with the flurry of posts before that, one may assume that i was all blogged out for a while. but that was not the case; i had a really bad week, starting on early monday morning and lasting until friday! there were some nice things along with the not-so-nice, but on the whole, it was a week to forget. i didn't want to write last week, not because it was crappy, but because i didn't want to dwell on the crappy. i tend to feel sorry for myself, so it wasn't like i didn't have anything to say! but as i was having a bad morning on monday, i started to tell myself to let it go, shake it off (as i usually do when i feel like my day is going to hell) because feeling like it's a bad day only makes it an even worse day. monday wasn't a total loss, i did manage to keep it from totally sucking, but it wasn't the best day ever, either.

this week has been rather quiet. i stayed home monday and tuesday, only venturing out to the supermarket a couple of times. the weather has been so lovely up until today, and i was glad to relax at home. wednesday was japanese class, which is good for me, because the friday class now sets homework! i get the homework done on wednesday, and i get to chat with some really nice people. i do like the class. we'll be doing a field trip, probably in october, to a place that is famous for iron teakettles (i think). thursday i met up with kuri and the littlest ping, for some hanging out and lunch (we tried a new bread restaurant, it was really great!) and then today, i had japanese class and then work. the battery died in the car, it's been on its last legs for the past two weeks or so, but today it finally gave up the ghost. luckily it was at the kindergarten (so, i didn't miss work and i didn't miss picking up the kids at kinder!) and got a jump from the principal's son (who is also a teacher there...or assistant assistant principal, or something). drove straight to autobacks to get a new battery. thankfully i got paid from the hyogo job...i had no idea batteries cost so much! nearly 2 man poorer, and fast approaching 6:30, i took the kids to joyfull for dinner. they were over the moon and got a cool toy with their dinner. awesome.

it's a three day weekend, with monday being respect for the aged day. hey, at least it doesn't fall on my birthday this year! we have no plans for the weekend, nor the next, which is also three days, but that's ok. hopefully i'll be able to go to the kyushu mini-con (though i'm starting to wonder if i'll have to do something that weekend. it's slipped my mind what it is but i bet you anything it will be that weekend. just wait...)

well, i thought that once i got caught up, i would blog more. guess i was wrong! whoops! it's really hard, though, since i'm spending "six weeks at home alone with three small children". it's been rather hectic, actually. not with going places and doing things, just with the kids' constant bickering, hitting and all-out fighting. we're not having a lot of fun this summer.

we did go to the aquarium at uminonakamichi last week. on the very day hiro and my 'passports' expired, so that was good. and we had a pretty good day, though the sun was strong and the hike to and from the kiddie pool at the park was harsh.

now it is obon, but we have no plans for doing anything. yoshi has today and tomorrow off, so we are trading off having time to ourselves. i mean on our own as one, not alone together. which would be nice, but not gonna happen!

next week i'll be going to hyogo for a job, that should be fun! hopefully the kids won't miss me too much and give yoshi a hard time!

.........



so, i got all caught up and was planning on blogging regularly last week and then...fizzle. this post was supposed to be my day out with connie, but i got sidetracked and it never got done. you can tell by the date of this post that i was going to write it last monday (august 1, it is now august 9!) but i had to break up another endless fight between the kids, and....well, here we are. i didn't take any pictures of our day out, but connie wrote up a nice blog post here.

i will try to do better about writing!

thank you to everyone who commented on my delurking post! it's nice to hear from those who read your blog. i even got a couple of questions!

first from L.:

"Questions......do you see yourself living in Japan for the rest of your life, or perhaps living somewhere else for a while?"

well. (i think you have asked me this before!) i don't see myself living in japan for the rest of my life. but the thing is...i'm not doing anything about not living here (for the rest of my life). i know for sure one of my foreign friends here in japan is working hard towards her retirement. she even sees herself in a third country (not japan and not her home country). she is lucky in that her occupation could serve her well almost anywhere in the world, and she could 'work' past retirement age. but she also has several saving plans, retirement funds and the like. there is some difficulty with her husband's family, i think, plus she doesn't want to be a burden on her children. i am not doing that (right now), though. i am still working at the SAHM thing and not earning anything. :/ this is actually kinda scary, and one of the reasons why i'm looking forward to going 'back to work'. after i figure out what i'm going to be (ha), then i think i will know what i want to do and live for the rest of my life.

next, from T in Tokyo:

"Anyway, would like to ask where in the states you are from and how often you get back there?"

well. i'm not really from anywhere in the states. my father was in the navy and i was born overseas. then we moved when i was five months old, to the SE united states. then we moved again (maybe six months later) to florida, then south carolina, and then finally to western washington (talk about culture shock!) i lived there for about fifteen years (before coming to japan). i spent a year of elementary school, then junior high, high school, community college and university there, my parents still live there and even my brother (and sometimes my sister) live there. SO, i usually just tell people i'm from washington, near seattle or just plain seattle. have i confused anyone?

i used to average one trip home a year until i got pregnant with sasha. i haven't been home since then (christmas 2005). five years, yo.

also, some of you commented on crafting and such. i do have a post coming up (that is, if i get the pictures done *sigh*) mainly about knitting. yay!

ok, i don't know the official delurking day for 2011, but it's about that time of year again, and instead of being one of the last to figure it out, i'm just going to go ahead and make today my delurking day!

um, anyone out there? i know i get plenty of hits during the day, but not many comments. not that i'm complaining! i know that (right now) my blog is just run-of-the-mill, nothing exciting or controversial here. not much swearing, either. i am going to try to take more pictures this year. last year was really bad!

so, please, if you're lurking, come on out and say hi. ask me a question, if there's anything you'd like to know about me (ha!) or my life in japan. even if you're a regular commenter, i'd love to hear from you, too!!

to get things started, i did get a question the other day (but for some reason, didn't show up on my blog...) from Japan: Home Sweet Home

"Hi Illahee,
I posted a comment on your old blog. I’m not sure what I was thinking I was catching up with all your posts. You seem to enjoy yourself in Japan. Even though I am Japanese and grew up there, I feel I have a lot to learn about the culture. So, how do you like living Japan and which parts are causing you to struggle?"

this is a tough question!! i do like living in japan, but sometimes i hate it, too. the toughest part is being so far away from my family in the US. it's also difficult when people around you don't understand your situation at all and have no sympathy for you. (the roughest part is when it's your own spouse!) i also struggle with language. speaking a bit but mostly with reading. being illiterate has been one of the hardest things to adjust to in my adult life. i hate it! i have also reached a stage where i know enough to get by and it's hard to move on to the next level. for me, anyway.

i've been in japan since 1999, and i'm really glad i came here on my own, and lived alone, first. i'm not saying this is the best way to do it, only that it was good for me! i learned a lot the first few years, about me, about living alone and about japan and about people who come here. it was very interesting, but sometimes lonely and even boring. being a wife and mother as an expat is so very different than as a single person!!

anyway, thank you to erika for her question, and good luck to her and her husband for when they move to japan!

ok lurkers, i'm waiting for you!