i am stressed. be warned that this may be rambly, whiny and obnoxious. i don't care. i haven't had many breaks (away from the kids) lately. i think i got a few hours to myself the weekend before the pinglet's party, but since then it's been pretty intense. and it's not just daylight hours, either. tommy still doesn't have his own bed so at least one child still insists on sleeping with me (even if it's hiro or sasha, because then tommy will sleep in their bed. poor yoshi has to fend for himself.) i think that once all three of them slept in my bed. i retreated to the futon in the tatami room on the first floor. anyway, the point is, i am out of patience. it bites. i want to have happy running through a field of flower moments with the kids. instead, i wish we had a fenced in garden so i could make them play outside all the time! lots of shouting, i fear. and it's still july, and we have all of august to get through.

since i am not working, i don't have a lot of extra money for entertainment. and yes, there are free things to do. hiro and sasha are also into doing their preschool workbooks that i got for them at costco. but there's only so much we can do (for free).

i really wish they would all nap. tommy is the only one i can get to sleep nearly every day....not just for the quiet time to myself, either. even hiro can be pretty cranky in the evening if he hasn't had a nap!

ok, well, hm. today was a rainy day. stuck inside all day with the kids. i briefly toyed with the idea of taking the kids to the latest toy story movie but...i really don't think i could handle it. the cost, the length of the movie, all three of them at once. i know they would love it but they might also fight, shout, run around....too bad really, as tommy is free (but would probably not have his own seat) and wednesday is ladies day so i could have a discount. but no. i just didn't want to try and be disappointed and shouty-angry mommy today. *sigh* it's just a pity, too, because the english version (subtitled) was playing at 1 pm which just might be perfect.

ah well, it is what it is. i just wish...well, we don't always get what we want, do we? here's hoping is better, either weather or attitude.