one of my earliest memories is going to my parents' room in the wee hours of the morning and asking my mommy if i could get into bed with her. getting into bed with my mom made me feel safe and warm. in my room, there were snakes and alligators under the bed, and unmentionable monsters in the closet. snuggling into mommy's bed was fun. i would stare up at the ceiling and imagine all sorts of things flying around up there. next to mommy, nothing bad could hurt me.

my children have always slept with me. well, hiro didn't for five days when i was in the hospital after giving birth to sasha. but they miss me if i'm not there. sometimes in the middle of the night, when hiro has wandered away from the futon, he'll wake up and realize where he is. he scoots over to my side and i cover him in his blankets again. the other night when this happened, he said, 'i love you.'

as you can probably tell, sleeping with my children doesn't give me much rest. but i love having them there, and they don't want to be anywhere else.