i know, i know, please don't beat me up. i KNOW. and this is why. but it's just me, i'm all alone, and i cannot stay in my house all day long.

my heart is breaking.

EDIT: when i wrote the above, what i meant about me was leaving my children in the car. i never leave them in the house alone. and i don't want to leave any of them in the car, but quite often i just can't bring myself to wake up a sleeping child, especially a baby. i am quite content waiting in the car, especially if i have a book or my cross stitch, and even if i don't, we do have a tv in the car. but if hiro is awake, he does not want to sit there, even if he has a DVD to watch. and i just can't wake a baby. please be assured that i don't leave them willy nilly, and never for a long time. but even five minutes can make a difference. i know that. but sometimes i really have no choice.

and i *wish* i lived in the us. because then i would have child care choices. i have none here. it sucks. and it's not just grocery shopping, we could have things delivered. it's me keeping my sanity, getting out of the house. but i would never ever leave any of them in the house alone, not at this age. i do feel very sad over the deaths of two small children. but, i can almost (but really, the convenience store? for an hour?) understand.