so, writing about our day in omuta made me realize that i had made a good choice in NOT going to my in-laws when i got locked out of the house. it would have been a nightmare if we had gone there.

first of all, it's so far away. sure, we're in the same prefecture (barely) but we're pretty much at one end and they're at the other. it takes an hour and a half to get there with the toll roads. if we went on regular streets, even using big roads like route 3 (which really would be a mistake because it's so busy) it would probably take five or more hours. also, i had to work on tuesday last week, in kitakyushu, which is even farther away, so i would have been exhausted just from driving.

then there's the toilet at their house. it's broken. from what i can tell, they don't have plumbing (as in, the toilet is not set up to a public sewer system, just a septic tank, so a regular flushing toilet is not possible.) but the toilet they have is broken. it doesn't flush at all. the lever (which is a foot one, btw) is kaput and has to be propped up with a jar so the valve doesn't stay open and let all the odors out. (gross) it's also a japanese style toilet (so, you have to crouch over it) and that's just not going to happen when i'm pregnant. the occasional use, fine. but not for two days. as it was, i had a hard time just one night (i won't go into details) and i told yoshi that i'm not going to spend the night there until after the baby is born. also, for some reason, his mom put one of those mosquito coils in there. that is a kind of insect-repelling incense (which smells terrible) and is meant for a larger place than a teeny tiny toilet room with little ventilation. i don't think there's a huge mosquito problem in just that room, i think she did it to also help combat the smell from the toilet. but it was terrible! i couldn't breathe whenever i went to the toilet (and at seven months pregnant, it was often). ugh.

then, of course, there's yoshi's mom herself. i know that i create part of the problem myself, dwelling on the past and not being able to let go. but i think we all know about the fiasco that happened after sasha was born. i really do try to be gracious (this is not something that comes naturally to me, especially when i have a grudge against someone). i showed her the pictures of her newest grandchild that i had on my camera. i tried not to complain too much when we went to lunch. but when we went to the festival on saturday, she picked up my parasol (which i had been planning to use) and said, 'kristin, i'm using your parasol. thanks!' that really pissed me off. yoshi said, 'my mom's using your umbrella, did you want to use it?' i told him that i did, but it was ok, it was late anyway and the sun wasn't that strong. plus, it would be blocked by the buildings soon. but....we just left her house!! if she was so effing concerned about the friggin' sun, why didn't she bring her own parasol or hat?? it's not like i live in town and have easy access to my things. after that i was just really annoyed and found it hard to be civil. that and all the walking and standing around tired me out and made my back hurt (i was really snotty about all the boring dancing...)

of course, the number one reason why i didn't stay at their place was i was embarrassed to admit that the kids and i got locked out of the house. and that's reason enough for me to stay away.